Recommended Books

You Are The One You've Been Waiting For

by Richard Schwartz PhD

A fantastic introduction to IFS (Internal Family Systems) - a therapy modality that helped me get in touch with parts of myself that were hurting and acting up in unproductive ways. IFS changed my life and I cannot recommend it enough.

If you feel you have inner child wounds that need to be healed or if you suffer from a strong inner critic, look into IFS.

Relationships and Personal Growth

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What to say when you talk to yourself

by Shad Helmstetter PhD

Another life-changing book for me. This book teaches us about the power of positive self-talk, and gives us meaningful examples of Self-talk we can adopt in our daily lives, as well as teaches us how to create our own self-talk to deal with specific issues we may be having.

Practicing positive self-talk (sometimes referred to as "affirmations") has been super helpful to remind myself of my strengths and ability to grow.

How We Heal

by Alexandra Elle

This book was also instrumental in my healing journey towards self-compassion. It contains super meaningful journal entry exercises, affirmations, and stories.

I recommend it to anyone who might struggle with self-judgement, feelings of unworthiness, and low self-esteem.

Attached

by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller

This book explains why some of us might have trouble in our relationships due to our attachment styles we developed as children in relation to our parents or caregivers. We might have a secure, anxious or avoidant style.

The good news is, we can become aware of our attachment styles we can evolve towards secure attachment by working on ourselves.

Love Sense

by Dr. Sue Johnson

A very helpful book to help couples navigate issues in their relationships. It addresses issues of infidelity and other losses of trust. It provides language to better communicate.

I recommend this as helpful reading for any couple that might be needing marriage counseling due to a relationship crisis. I don't advocate for any book to replace real counseling. This is a recommendation for content to supplement counseling.

Marriage or Committed Relationships

The 5 Love Languages

by Gary Chapman

You've probably heard of this book. It explains how there are 5 different ways of feeling loved, and how important it is to understand your partner's love language so that you can make them feel loved in the best way for them. And the same goes for your partner understanding your love language.

The Seven Principles for Making Marriages Work

by John M Gottman PhD

Very straight forward points and a great read whether your relationship is in trouble or not. Definitely beneficial for conflict resolution but you and your spouse must be receptive to change and consistently putting in effort.

Fight Fair!

by Tim and Joy Downs

When couples fight, tempers flare, tongues loosen, and behavior occurs that can cause major damage to the relationship. Fight Fair! teaches couples how to have healthy disagreements. It is a candid and realistic "rulebook" for married couples to ensure that their conflict is respectful of their partner. There is also plenty of immediate application to ensure that future conflicts don't create permanent scars.

Modern Dating, A Field Guide

by Chiara Atik

I believe the intended audience for this book is young women in their 20s and maybe 30s. It's also a bit outdated in terms of social media/tech references.

Still, I had a nice time reading it and I thought the author was very thorough and covers all details related to dating.

Dating & Finding Love

He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

by Greg Berhendt

Good book that ended up becoming a movie. This book helps women who are typically at the beginning of relationships get real about the signals they're getting (or not getting) from the men they're dating.

Marry Him

by Lori Gottlieb

An eye-opening, funny, painful, and always truthful in-depth examination of modern relationships, and a wake-up call for single women about getting real about Mr. Right, from the New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone.

Dating Sucks, but You Don't: The Modern Guy's Guide to Total Confidence, Romantic Connection, and Finding the Perfect Partner

by Connell Barrett

Rejection. Ghosting. Not knowing how to talk to women. For many men, dating just sucks. But it doesn’t have to. There’s a simple yet powerful way to gain instant confidence and attract a great girlfriend: be authentic.

How to Flirt with Women: The Art of Flirting Without Being Creepy That Turns Her On! How to Approach, Talk to & Attract Women: Dating Advice for Men

by Ray Asher

Are you unhappy with your dating life? Are you craving female attention and sex, but not getting them? Do you secretly feel unattractive because of some rejections you've faced in the past?

Flirting is the art of small talk. It includes a lot of playfulness, smooth conversation skills, and high social intelligence. In fact, with the right words, right tonality, and right "approach" - you can make ANY woman highly attracted to you.

This book is the most comprehensive guide ever written about flirting that will show you how to flirt like a pro.

Date-onomics: How Dating Became a Lopsided Numbers Game

by Jon Birger

It’s not that he’s just not that into you—it’s that there aren’t enough of him. And the numbers prove it. Using a combination of demographics, statistics, game theory, and number-crunching, Date-onomics tells what every single, college-educated, heterosexual, looking-for-a-partner woman needs to know: The “man deficit” is real. It’s a fascinating, if sobering read, with two critical takeaways: One, it’s not you. Two, knowledge is power, so here’s what to do about it.

How to Not Die Alone

by Ray Asher

A “must-read” (The Washington Post) funny and practical guide to help you find, build, and keep the relationship of your dreams.

Have you ever looked around and wondered, “Why has everyone found love except me?” You’re not the only one. Great relationships don’t just appear in our lives - they’re the culmination of a series of decisions, including whom to date, how to end it with the wrong person, and when to commit to the right one. But our brains often get in the way. We make poor decisions, which thwart us on our quest to find lasting love.

8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

by Jay Shetty

The author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Think Like a Monk offers a revelatory guide to every stage of romance, drawing on ancient wisdom and new science.

Nobody sits us down and teaches us how to love. So we’re often thrown into relationships with nothing but romance movies and pop culture to help us muddle through. Until now.

Instead of presenting love as an ethereal concept or a collection of cliches, Jay Shetty lays out specific, actionable steps to help you develop the skills to practice and nurture love better than ever before. He shares insights on how to win or lose together, how to define love, and why you don’t break in a break-up. Inspired by Vedic wisdom and modern science, he tackles the entire relationship cycle, from first dates to moving in together to breaking up and starting over. And he shows us how to avoid falling for false promises and unfulfilling partners.

How to Win Friends and Influence People

by Dale Carnegie

This is essentially the "bible" of social skills. Written in 1936, it's an oldie but an absolute goodie. I am always amazed when I meet folks who have not read this book. If you're one of them, do me a favor and pick up this book right now.

Dale Carnegie dishes out wisdom about how to have good conversations and how to basically "not be an %#&#" to people. While most people might not need the civility lesson, I believe most people could benefit from the lesson on how to be a good conversationalist.

Social Skills & Communication

How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships

by Leil Lowndes

What is that magic quality that makes some people instantly loved and respected? Everyone wants to be their friend (or, if single, their lover). In business, they rise swiftly to the top of the corporate ladder. What is their “Midas touch?”

What it boils down to is a more skillful way of dealing with people.

The author has spent her career teaching people how to communicate for success. In this book, Lowndes offers 92 easy and effective sure-fire success techniques.

Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People

by Vanessa Van Edwards

Do you wish you could decode people? Do you want a formula for charisma? Do you want to know exactly what to say to your boss, your date, or your networking partner? You need to know how people work.

As a human behavior investigator, Vanessa Van Edwards studies the hidden forces that drive our behavior patterns in her lab—and she's cracked the code. In Captivate she shares a wealth of valuable shortcuts, systems, and behavior hacks for taking charge of interactions at work, at home, and in any social situation. These aren't the people skills you learned in school. This is the first comprehensive, science-backed, real-life manual on human behavior and a completely new approach to building connections.

Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection

by Charles Duhigg

From the bestselling author of The Power of Habit, a fascinating exploration of what makes conversations work—and how we can all learn to be supercommunicators at work and in life

“A winning combination of stories, studies, and guidance that might well transform the worst communicators you know into some of the best.”—Adam Grant, author of Think Again and Hidden Potential

Boundaries

by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend

Boundaries is the book that's helped more than four million people learn when to say yes and know how to say no in order to take control of their lives.

"Does your life feel like it's out of control? Perhaps you feel like you have to say yes to everyone's requests. Maybe you find yourself readily taking responsibility for others' feelings and problems. Or perhaps you focus so much on being loving and unselfish that you've forgotten your own limits and limitations. Or maybe it's all of the above."

If you see yourself in the blurb above, read this book.

Boundaries

Set Boundaries, Find Peace

by Nedra Glover Tawwab

Yep, another book about Boundaries! Can we ever have enough? In this book, Nedra helps us verbalize our needs and boundaries with different aspects of our lives: Family, Friends, Work, Social Media, etc.

I love Nedra's podcast "You need to hear this", and I've read both her books. She's coming out with a new one soon and I can't wait!

Drama Free

by Nedra Glover Tawwab

Another good one by Nedra. In this one she explores unhealthy family relationships and helps us set boundaries with our families.

Boundaries in Dating

by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend

How do you set smart limits on your physical relationship? How much do you get involved financially? And how do you know if you've found your future spouse? Dating can be fun, but it's not always easy to navigate the questions and intricacies along the way

In Boundaries in Dating, Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend, counselors and authors of the New York Times bestseller Boundaries, share their practical advice for adding healthy boundaries to your dating life.